Thursday, December 07, 2006
i need to run
but i dont know where to run to
tired
get it?
gimme a break
just stop it
-i am on cloud nine.. became a star at 10:54 PM
--
Thursday, June 22, 2006
hEy.
its 12am aLrd.hAa.
220606
its my sweet sixteen aLrd.
but i dont fEeL the ecstacy
nvm.
I went to church camp.
it was rather fun
though there were many BGRs
i came home happy..
I knew so many other ppL..
ppL like AJ.hAa.
i aLways thought of him..
as an irritant.an act cOoL
but i guess he is more than just that
then there's josiah
hEy..ppL say i crush him okay..
did i?hAa.cant rmb aLrd.
its just a camp thing.
crushes are temporary..
there's steph
reaLi am not sure whats gg on
her mind is confused
she is just young
with erm 4 ppL racing
on the horse?..hEe.
there's darren
cheryL's bro..
he's cOoL.bLOody smart
funny and fun in his ways..
aLways teasing me man.
there's gLadwin
i knew him since 2004's camp
but we didnt taLk
so i guess it was one step cLoser
there's mabeL
been enemies with her for a whiLe
i guess
now we have cLeared the air
it fEeLs much better
there's joshua
erm..damn nerd
teresa crushed him.n deborah
muahahAa.she's darn funny
he gave me long speeches
aLL abt the triangLe thing
that's crap..or not?
there's marcus
other than the last yr incident
he's veh nice
a mummy's boy..man.grow up
we pLayed DOTA together k?
now that's crap
and after the camp, i knew more
ppL like david..
hAa..he fetched me and steph home
he's nice.
this hoLidays was a bunch of crap
went to church
went for a great worship service
went to teresa's hse twice to study
basicaLLy
i was in no mOod for others
but sometimes it can be quite disappointing
esp when..arh.nvm.
though i know none of them wiLL read this
stiLL
i want the Lord to be my witness
that's aLL
The Good Lord BLess and keep aLL of my dEars and friends and famiLies...
want to know my birthday wish..
i have bareLy thought of it yet.
anyway
i wiLL update someday..eLse..
hAa..goodnight
*cheerio
P.S.if ur reading this..teLL me okay?
-i am on cloud nine.. became a star at 12:02 AM
--
Sunday, April 16, 2006
did i left him speechLess or what?
i don't know
fLings suck
i am never ever pLanning anyone of these
let me teLL you what happened then
hmm
it was sunday
we had pLanned to meet
i mean
i had no intention at aLL
he was tOo rash
i was tOo
haih
what am i saying here
this aint any big deaL
accrording to my tim
he said "its no big deaL"
man..
i shLd just listen to him
whats wrong with me man?
its nothing
he just kissed me on the cheek
made me feeL speciaL for..
20 minutes?
hAa..cOoL
i wiL make sure he gets it
its so like
meant to be
i am sure you get what i mean
seriousLy i hope no one is reading this
but if YOU are reading,
teLL me
at least i know who my audience is
hAa.in fact, i wLd rather keep it low
yEah dats it!
i wiLL add another pic
its cOoL.
a fLing
its just a fLing
and moreover
it's over
so
i shLd just concentrate on the
REVENGE
church camp!
i am counting on it!
hAa.*laughs*
*cheerio
-i am on cloud nine.. became a star at 7:01 PM
--
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
i feeL terribLe
i reaLy mean it
if onLy i couLd turn back time
i wouLd have "STOPPED"
but no, things don't go the way i want it to
since when the worLd revoLved around me
i mean *he won't understand
*he never wiLL
i have never bLogged about him
so here goes..
i reaLy have something against fLings
i asked laura how she wouLd react
she said she had her doubts
her doubts about her dEar *him
i reaLy have the same taste as her
i mean
she tOo likes tim,and adriano?
hmm..anyway
we kind of share the same interests
back to square one
i reaLy hope he read this
i mean
i hope nobody wiLL
but the thought of this
going on the most prominent pLace
i am aLmost satisfied
its aLmost of a court case
i am bringing you to the pubLic
don't regret
i may say so
but what is with me
what is with aLL those fLings
i reaLy had enough
its nice to know *he liked me before
or was it a lie?
i reaLy have no idea
i hope my deductions are true
this time
i am having it my way
i so swear to God that i am making him pay
Thank you for putting me up
then throwing me down
i reaLy didnt need it
hah
i experienced the most
most rendering 20 minutes of my life
it was sweet,
yet disastrous
with the speLL of troubLe
*he toLd me: "actuaLy i was just pLaying with you wan larh."
okay
that went weLL..for him
for me, its the sound of a smashing gLass
here's a side view of him
i kind of love it
then again
its hatred
and many more
its cooL
when he finaLy grows up
and hopefuLy mature
he wiLL reaLise
that its reaLy GAME OVER
*cheerio
more coming...
-i am on cloud nine.. became a star at 10:36 PM
--
Monday, February 20, 2006
reaLLy.
you wouLd never have guessed what i went through
on friday night,
i was super sLeepy
and extremeLy tired
that i couLd sLeep the whoLe night off.
but i had determined to do my studies.
so i did.
at around 10 pLus,
a phonecaLL from dad came
he asked me to contact maLaysia
and teLL them our chinese names
i did tOo..
asking jie what was going on..
jie toLd me that maybe ah ma died
and true enough
she had passed away at 9pm on 170206
i went to pack my things ready for study there
and aLso my cLothes
we sLept late at 3am
the next morning was a buzz
we rushed so much
that i wasnt in time for a bath
it was reaLLy unpLeasant
but however..
a journey was beginning
went on the bus..
fetched from puduraya
reaching at the house
aLL covered up..
ah ma was not in the coffin yet
went to change to this bLue thingy
didnt had the idea of praying
but as a christian
i tOo had to go for rituaLs
haLf-heartedLy
that day,
we had cLose to five rituaLs
of what seemed to last for hours
i didnt foLd paper but heLped to coLLect them
then after aLL was done
peopLe left at around 12?
i reaLLy didnt take note of the time
then we continued
eng said she wouLd return
and we wouLd chat aLL night long
aik aLso agreed..
but it onLy turned out that aik came back
jie sLept earLy
aLong with siok
i was downstairs
with hui n keong n aik
yupp
short forms..
we were chatting for a whiLe
eagerLy waiting for eng
but she didnt answer my phone
and went to bed
so we chatted the whoLe night
went to entertain soon
he was with this girL
whose car broke down
and asked aik to ruah there to fix
and so me keong n hui
foLLowed aik
and just wasted time
didnt manage to finish
so had tea
taLked with aik
whOoh.
it was the first time
reaLLy
aLL the time he was with his gf
i reaLLy couLdnt find him
we taLked long
and went back taLking again
they had this joke about gardenia
which kept them laughing for long
then decided to sLeep
went into the car to
didnt open the window much
and it was squeezy
then i couLd onLy sLeepfor a whiLe
before keong started to snore
then i thought it was okay for everyone
so don't be that extra
went to sLeep
heard aik going out
so i aLso went out with him
and we continued to taLk again
then saw the sky was nice
toLd him
thought he wouLdnt be interested
he even took photo of it
hAa.cooL.
then heard music from his phone
then he toLd me that
it wouLd be nice
if we went to pLay bbaLL
and come back to bathe
before continueing the rituaLs
cos we were tOo tired
so i went to caLL keong
and we headed to pLay
i n keong one team
aik n soon the other
they were nice abt it
cos i was a girL
we won okay
i was damn rough
n that stupid soon
kept protruding his butt
stupid man
then went back to bathe
continued prayers
just that it was hotter
went to see ah ma
and i guess everyone cried
it was like
no more ah ma
every time i go kL
i was bound to see her
but now
no more
i stiLL peer into the room
but see an empty bed
haih
life's short
tOo short for me
aik was kind of hostiLe after that
then we went to the grave
and saw my ah kong
it was a rough ride there
and a tough waLk up
then we went home
and i had powder bath
went to bed
not officiaLLy
just waiting for aik n eng
but they didnt come
instead soon came
we went for dinner
this pLace where i feLt like sLEeping
they had the intention
to ceLebrate jie's bdae
yupp
feLt kind of extra there
it feLt like jie was great
i was insignificant
and so
everything went weLL...
sort of smooth
then keong asked me to foLLow aik back
i did
and we taLked again in the car
i loved it
and i know we can never have this chance
ever again
so we taLked about birds and bees
cos keong picked up a caLL from a girL
and i didnt know
untiL aik toLd me
hAa.
then they force me to speak about theon
then on ezra
much on theon though
i was suffocated by their questions
then aik toLd me that
he wouLd teLL me sth that wouLd make me puke
but not on the car
in the end
he didnt teLL me aLso
he said i couLd ask abt his ex
then when keong asked
whether he was a virgin
i answered 'no'
hAa.i aLways feLt like that
he was like 'eh..'
then i laughed
but it was cooL
at least the night ended weLL
went back n had my super fast bath
then went down
went to puduraya
went ont he bus
and headed home
it was a quick n fast ride
cos i was sLEeping aLL the time
it was fine
i reaLy hope
i can do it again
everything went fast this time
but i know
i won't have that opportunity
ever again
at least
i hope not
take care
*cheerio
-i am on cloud nine.. became a star at 9:39 PM
--
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
i reaLy don't know what i am stucked at
at this point of time,
i wouLd rather not think of anything
but there's no such thing is there?
stuck in between
reLationships or studies
i know i am not good at either
but stiLL
studies is a safety barrier at least
i wun get hurt after a failed exam
that is seriousLy whats the catch
everyone is exceLLing
i am left behind
looking at their backviews heLpLessLy
i wouLdn't want to cLing on
to what doesn't hoLd me
it's tiring
reaLy
who wouLd understand
i don't even know what i want
what can i expect of others
i am so not an interesting person
i may just bore you out
its terribLe
if onLy i couLd turn back time
i wouLd reverse the whoLe situation
i wouLdn be living so loneLy
guys aren't the remedy
no matter how many i know
it wouLdn't saLvage anything
one thing i am gLad about..
i am not living in deniaL
i am true about myseLf
when i can't resist,
i wiLL learn to say STOP
but so far,
it hasn't much been working
and i shouLd know exactLy why
"aLL in love is fair
one of us wiLL lose
is it her or me?
is it me or you?
who's it gonna be
what you gonna choose
are you over me
i'm not over you"
S cLub's "aLL in love is fair"
as so to say
i shouLd be over my shadow
i mean
life is just a pure contradiction
sometimes
its tough not to remember
i know
been there,done that
then again
i wouLd rather die
if i had the choice
i wouLd
isn't life aLL about a pack of lies
i reaLy wonder
why the theatre business ain't doing better
since everyone loves to act
"prone to wander, Lord, i feeL it
prone to leave the God i love"
~i am tired of losing the reason for living~
*cheerio
-i am on cloud nine.. became a star at 9:53 PM
--
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
is it reaLLy difficuLt to start afresh
i am sorry
i am sorry to those i have disappointed
i wiLL study hard
i wiLL make my mark
I want my utmost revenge
not onLy for myseLf
but for those who have bypassed me the wrong way
sounds easier then it shouLd be done
I am staying neutraL
i don't know if its cos of that
but i am neutraL
i don't want to tempt myseLf anymore
i can't handLe temptations
if you are not going to care Less..
why shouLd i then?
everytime i hear
is of news of your happiness
peopLe aLways say
love is a wish of happiness
but is it reaLi like that
i don't think so
i hate hearing that you are fine
i want you to suffer
after what i have gone through
yours is just..
a piece of cake
fine.
you have got your face back
but i am left there
as nothing
i hate myseLf for thinking of you
i hate myseLf for doing these
and yet
girLs are just pure contradictions
i believe between boys and girLs
there is no such thing as friendship
and therefore
my finaL verdict
no friendship
say i am mean if you must
i feLL too much
it hurts
and maybe cos of my skin
i am never recovering
aLL those memories
can't just be bLown away like that
if you know what i mean
stop wasting your efforts
running through my mind..
i had enough
i am starting my way
waLking my route
you are history.
i am starting my mysteries
regardLess
"yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery,
today is a gift,
that's why it's caLLed the present."
-i am on cloud nine.. became a star at 9:04 PM
--
